24 x 36″ – 2014 Thanksgiving Concert Poster for Miles Nielsen & Ernie Hendrickson – Large file, 50mb PDF, Takes Awhile, Be Patient, Go to KFC, Order a Bucket of Fried Chicken, Come Back, Eat Your Chicken, Wait For Download to Complete Itself, You Complete Me, ahahahahaha < #idoubtit (I doubt you read this far down. In fact, I’m pretty sure you didn’t because it’s more than likely that you can’t read and write more than 140 characters if you are from the Northern Illinois region.)
2) FREE LIFE LESSON: How a Lack of Time Caused by Dull, Ever-Increasing, Domestic, Adult Responsibilities Can Force the Artist to Rely on Amateur Thoughts and Creative Theft to Sustain What’s Left of the Muse as it Naturally and Forcefully Disintegrates From Itself into an Average Human Being to Satisfy Others Needs Combined with Society’s Demands for Being Taxable and Responsible, but also to Purchase More, More, More Material Stuff and Things To Keep Up with Technology, Automobiles, Real Estate, the Neighbors and their Lawns, the Grass and the Leaves and the Gutters. Oh, Don’t Forget the Five Months Worrying About Ice Covered Sidewalks and Paths Leading To Doors Attached to Homes and Buildings That Belong to Privileged People Amongst Us All That Must Be Cleaned and Maintained to Impress Family and Friends Whose Opinions and Thoughts About Every Single Weekend’s Sports Ball Games, Social Gatherings and Meals Which, Quite Simply, Don’t Matter to the Artist (Who, Remember, is Transforming into an Average Human Being for Them to Accept as Being Worthy of Becoming a Respected, Responsible, Larger-Vehicle Owning Human Being with Children, a Retirement Plan and a Boat. That’s right, a G*ddamned orange speed boat!)
A Lifetime of Little-to-Zero Respect Shown For Those Few Creative People in our Lives Combined with a Pile of Amateur-Minded Misunderstandings that Most Artists Have to Silently Deal With at the End of Each Day When Laying WhitePeopleProblems and Personal Burdens Down while Awake in the Dark with a Head Full of Bad Ideas on a Pillow that Could Easily Turn Into Something Worth Remembering With a Little More Time to Be Alone, Thinking and Doing What Matters Most to the Artist – a Painting, a Book, a Photo, an Illustration, a Song, a Paper Airplane, a bucket of fried chicken, and a Polyurethaned Lobster Sculpture or anything – instead of Contemplating the Many Ways by which Artists Fail Themselves to Do Anything of Personal and Artistic Merit Will Result in Personal Failures.
The Artist is Average at the End of Each Day Like Everyone Else. That’s right, $cumbags, ponies, breeders and leaders, leaders of leaders and misfits who want nothing more than a bucket of KFC fried chicken and a Venti or Muy Grande Gingerbread Latte from the Local Starbucks Cafe. Breeders vs. leaders vs. misfits. You are #blessed, you are data, you have no soul, you are an average human being, a bunch of amateurs, you are the American Dream–BLAMMO!
What you are accessing for free is a little something I cheaply designed based on something I stole from the LIbrary of Congress who casually stole it from a public agency or the original rights owner. In some fortunate cases, the artist originally owned the rights themselves until a few copyright laws and the passing of 70 odd plus years or more rendered their work as being public domain; in other words, rights free and ours to share.
If the rights weren’t renewed, sold or protected by the artist’s estate, copyright laws loosely allow the Library of Congress to adopt the rights to borrow –er, steal– it from the original artist whose family lineage has ignored such matters; or are unaware of their dead ancestor’s original work because most humans could give a flying f*ck about preserving art, personal heritage and culture. (Especially when it comes down to taxes and the exchange of monies for time spent being awake and physically able to be anything but an artist. Let alone to recognize and freely pay blind respect to the artists amongst us all who dare not to end up average like many people amongst us, the majority, who can’t do anything but breed.)
In honor of the deceased artist, here are the process and the facts:
I stole this from the Library of Congress to use however I wished in a commercial-free manner because there was a download link to do so.
No monies were exchanged for the recreation of this creation for the event details contained within, Why, you wonder? I don’t believe in such pedestrian, hostile, capitalist affairs that often destroy good people with creative endeavors to enlighten minorities amongst us who crave higher cultural standards through music, books, film and more. Therefor, no monies will be exchanged for printed copies of this poster to hang on your empty, cold white walls.
Sadly, as you may be wondering, I don’t know the name of the original artist because I didn’t take the time to notate it on a late Tuesday night, November 4th, 2014, when I found the archived image in a rush to produce something worthy of an idea in my head for an event that I’d been asked to create a reproducible image for that I didn’t have time to create myself with my craftsman tools and nice papers due to a lack of time caused by ever-increasing dull, domestic chores, errands and socially awkward communal responsibilities that cause me to become even more introverted and disgusted with fellow mankind’s influences; like hashtags and selfies.
Disgusting and lovely, thank you. To explain further:
Point being, I don’t enjoy the company of other men, their farts and their football speak; nor that of women and their feelings, shopping ideas and other expensive thoughts.I am a simple man who desires the comforts of a record player, a book, some pizza, a friendly dog and an empty notebook to sketch, compose ideas down to become something else at a later time. I do not desire the sounds, aspirations and disappointments of others around me who seek to transform me into a replication of other average human beings; and this is why I have two names. One to be treated however y’all wish to abuse it – my birth name, it is average and worth nothing in this world but a yawn – and the other to be treated however I wish – my working name, the one I created that no one can influence without my choosing. You take the former to abuse, and I’ll have the latter to destroy. Mine, mine, mine. Make your own fake name to share awful truths that we all live with and rarely speak of. That’s right, YOU$A™
It is here on this page that I’ve provided you the freedom to steal something from me with my permission; to print as you wish to hang in your office, kitchen, garage or wherever it is that you wish to worship whatever fanfares and desires that you want, not need, to accentuate your life with free art.
Whether you frame it or not is not my concern.
I will warn you from my own experience and lack of personal finances to afford the act of protecting printed material is that it can be very expensive if you don’t know better about what to do. The type of frame, matte and glass can break and destroy your free internet art if your hanging methods and tools aren’t apt. Don’t worry, you are not alone. For I am not apt or capable of preserving and hanging my own work, though, as I implied before: With money and extra time I can do anything, but I’ve been limited to the power of the pen and words; to enlighten the babies, ponies, adults and animals who can’t read and write anything other than accentuated words with pound signs (hashtags) and acronyms for their fellow primates to enjoy. To be comforted by imaginary electronic emotions. BLESSED!
Neither one of those earthly items – extra monies and time – are familiar to me and many Americans without accepting unethical methods to con people into possession of more monies and time. No, thank you. What I create remains wrinkled, wet, rolled, stacked and waiting for a bonfire or a rainstorm.
I suggest you contact a fellow artist and working class hero such as Jeremy Klonicki to handle such matters of artistic preservation at: www.MainFraim.com.
As for printing this 24′ x 36″ poster sized digital file, I’ve great references who handle larger print quantities needing to be serviced, but not 1 poster for your wall; in fact, not even I could print something this large, because– again–I do not possess enough time or monies to accomplish such an easy, time-consuming and expensive task.
More money and time are the secrets to a good, long, healthy life.
Without either, happiness is a poor man’s game to play mind tricks with like. “Look o’er yonder, young peasant, the grass isn’t green, it’s chicken! Here you go, a bucket of fried chicken from KFC to swallow your misery and poverties away,” said the farmers to their slaves. It’s all a state of mind and body, yes? #BLESSED!
If I were you I wouldn’t waste the time needed for downloading this file, but here are the specs to ponder about with as I lead us to the conclusion of this free life lesson on the internet:
The poster is a HI-RESOLUTION, 150 DPI, 24″ x 36″ PDF FILE that I destroyed an original image from for free by adding modern, personal touches to it: An orange flag with a white dot to honor thy Lord Thomas Derby; a few sponsors (some fictional, some real), event details (all real), a nifty typeface font that I’ve reused more than once to express an early 18th and 19th century storybook appearance where technology, Kindles, iPads and blogs don’t exist; a few fake mustaches on the little people that I did not illustrate to begin with; and a large orange to replace what was once a f*cking hot air balloon.
Are we not all hot air balloons floating around the internet for likes, shares, comments, endorsements, tweets and pigeon sh*t loaded on needle points and pins? Or are we simply #blessed and #grateful to be alive, to enjoy a free download on the internet? Each of us is responsible for our own answer. Ahahahhahahhaa. To honor the integrity of such stolen matters, ideas, designs and what-nots, I ask that you steal this from me with great confidence and knowledge.
Now you know how it feels to be ripped off in broad daylight and to struggle to live, work and exist around so many average human beings like yourself during these medieval modern times. But don’t worry, I still love you. I shall taketh for free what I giveth for free. Ahahahahahhaa– #Blessed indeed!
That’s right. Let’s end this charade, your free download is now complete.
Onward thou shalt eat dat pizza and pet doze puppies. For those are the few, loved, earthly matters that provides solace and slivers of happiness to keep sane and somewhat proper in a beautiful world that is dictated by lazy, obese, loud, culture-less, disrespectful and strangely proud average people who’ve been granted the power, money and opportunities to project their average ideals unto future generations. Average minds and amateurs are winning, but whatever. Like I giveth a shiteth.
Oh, we the people, our freedoms and our children. Wah, wah, wah; me, me, me–that’s amore!
Words © 2014 andywhorehall.com | All Rights Reserved | Reproduction not permitted unless noted otherwise. I note thee otherwise: Please share until the sun turn off or the satellites start dropping from the sky and the grid falls out, leaving us cold, crisp, empty like dust floating in a soda can, baby. That’s right. YOU$A™